what if???

what if i am thank filled for my old blog?
what if i go back there?
http://gatheringpeeps.com
yeah.
i think i will.
i really LOVE how big i can make my pictures on typepad.
so.
book mark me there.
love!

btw - it's NOT that i am not thank filled.  it's just that i think i needed this blog for a season... and now i can move back.
the end.

what if???

what if i am thank filled for my old blog?
what if i go back there?
http://gatheringpeeps.com
yeah.
i think i will.
i really LOVE how big i can make my pictures on typepad.
so.
book mark me there.
love!

btw - it's NOT that i am not thank filled.  it's just that i think i needed this blog for a season... and now i can move back.
the end.

thank filled...

for friends.
even if i lose their email address and blog address when switching over computers!
can my friend who is adopting my sweet little jiangcheng baby boy PLEASE email me?!
megan???

thank filled for one year

we worship a great big god.

he had a plan that started before the creation of the world.

a plan to make something beautiful.

a plan to redeem.

a plan to restore the wasted years.

and, although we often don't understand the ways he is doing that,

we choose to worship.

one year.

we praise you, abba father!

you are good.

thank filled for one year.

happy forever family day, aubrie-li cana.

thank filled last "first day of preschool"

(yeah, yeah.  i know there are nay-sayers that say "oh!  don't say you're done, tami!  whatever.  right now, there are no more kids in our family, so it is the last "first day of preschool" - unless something changes.)

my little man started preschool this morning.
and i cried.
of course i cried!
i have spent nearly every day for the last three years with him.  i am the momma bear - as in "don't mess with my kid, or i'll claw you!" kind of momma bear.


as he got ready to go to school today, i just kept looking at him and thinking that he really is ready.
he has made amazing progress at occupational therapy and speech this summer.
he has made amazing progress in attachment this summer.

and my heart just had peace that this was good for him.
i mean, it's good for me, too!  but, when we originally made the decision for preschool, the decision was very selfish on my part.  i needed a little break.
this morning, though?
it was all about abe.  and all about the reality that he has grown sooooo much this summer... and he was ready to spread those wings... a little.
;-)

here is abe greeting mr. l.
we are beyond blessed that the school that most of our kids go to also has a preschool.  mr. l is the principal for austin, amy and anna.  we are also beyond blessed that abe's preschool meets at one of the places he feels most comfortable - and safe: our church!

some days it's "abraham" and some days it's "abe".  today, he was having an "abe" day, but had to find "abraham" on a fish.

he then took his fish and matched it to the fishbowl that also said "abraham" on it.

he had an amazing day and was so excited to tell me about it.
i happen to think that god hand picked the PERFECT teacher for abe.  a teacher that i could trust to love my very special little man.  it's pretty hard for a momma bear to trust just anyone, you know....  but this teacher?  she is a god-send.

thank filled for broken roads

thinking about the broken roads that brought me four children.
my heart stirs with anger about the injustice.
a week ago, i wanted to seek out a birth mother.  i have no warm and tender feelings for her.  i wanted to hunt down pathetic orphanage workers.  i wanted justice for the injustices my child suffered...

but, the spirit nudges me to see it differently...
thank filled that god kept them and carried them.  thank filled that he intends to use the injustice to point to the glory of his perfect justice.  thank filled that god has called me to seek justice on their behalf.

random thanks

i have so much to be thank filled for.
sometimes it's harder to see.
and sometimes, blogging just takes too much time and effort.

but, this morning i was thinking about a few things i am thank filled for:
- coffee. (that's a pretty consistent one)
- paint.  i'm looking forward to painting abraham's room this weekend.  a task that i can plan and complete. sometimes stay at home moms need those...
- my partner.  i love him.  i'm thankful for him.  i can't imagine doing life without him.
- retreats.  it's ok to admit that this is hard and that i need a break.  i'm looking forward to this retreat with some friends.  i don't even know WHICH friends, yet ;-)
- china.  it's rocked my world.  it's changed my perspective.  when i think of the past 5 1/2 years, so much of my life and heart are there.  so thank filled that god opened my eyes to these people.

thank filled mid week

thank filled today:
that even when i am clueless, he is not.
that when i don't even know where to search for answers, he is the answer.
that when i want to stomp my feet and scream, he pulls me into his lap and holds me close.

thank filled monday

-thank filled that she needs me, even if it isn't in the ways i wish she did.
-thank filled for monday mornings, because they are a reminder that new is always around the corner.
-thank filled for a god's messengers bringing a word from him and doing it in a way that gets our attention.
-thank filled for dreaming with friends.
-thank filled for coffee.
happy monday.  hope it's filled with thanks!

thank filled for a day of firsts!

wednesday was a day filled with firsts in our home!

my first day packing lunches:

we added up what hot lunches would cost for a week and came up with almost $85! that's crazy! certainly i can feed my kids for less!

oh, and btw - lunches will not always looks that fabulously colorful. how could i not take a picture of that, though?

*****

first day of junior high!

i love this kid and i can't believe he is in 7th grade!

he is very laid back about it all and wasn't in the slightest bit stressed about starting junior high. so much, in fact, that he didn't even bring his schedule to school with him! he asked how he was supposed to know where to go (in the parking lot!) and i told him to look at his schedule. "i don't have it!" he said. when i asked what class he had 2nd hour, he said "i don't know!". sigh. oh, dear son...

*****

first day of HIGH SCHOOL!!!

how in the world did that happen?

i miss her already. she is quickly becoming one of my best friends.

she bought me roses for my first day of school. how sweet is that?!

*****

first day of 2nd grade!

she was my only kiddo not having a big new transition,

but, with amy, all transitions are big, so this one was filled with uncertainty.

she loved it, though! as we knew she would!

*****

first day of kindergarten!!!

my baby girl... my only kiddo so far to only be with me (aside from the 20 months without me).

she was a little uncertain; sure that she would really miss her mommy...

and she did. but, she also had a really great day and was anxious to go back today!

*****

first day of middle school!

aubrie is a 5th grader and that seems to be a good fit for her. she is at a great school this year with lots of people from our church on staff. it was such a blessing to my heart yesterday afternoon to watch the posts of my facebook wall: the school social worker, the music teacher, a bus driver and a team leader for teachers all sharing about their interactions with aubrie. thank filled for god's provision.

*****

first day driving to school!

ok. she won't be doing that consistently until at least november 30 (her 15th birthday), but it is a first and it is coming!

*****

wow.

i love these kids.

i'm thank filled that they call me "mom" and that i get to send them into the world to share the love of christ where ever they go!

(abe starts preschool in 3 weeks!!!)

thank filled for peace

i asked our care group for prayer.
for my sad mommy heart.
i love having my kids home
and my heart lacks peace about sending them off...
well.
it did lack peace.
today i spoke with aubrie's ELL teacher.  and i went to her school.
i also went to ashleigh, austin, amy and anna's school and met new teachers.
chatted with friends and parents and teachers.
and it was good.
today, i am thank filled for peace for my mommy heart
and
for a caring group of friends who pray.

thank filled for answered prayer!

do you remember the earthquake that rocked sichuan province in 2008?

i remember hearing "earthquake" and "china" in the same sentence and first wondering how close it was to abraham. we were waiting to travel at the time the earthquake hit.

i also remember praying.

praying that god would be glorified amid the chaos and tragedy of it all.

praying that god would use the tragedy to draw people to himself.

big picture says that god answered those prayers - offered by myself and SO many brothers and sisters around the world. but we don't generally come face to face with those answers; especially when they are half a world away.

today, i am thank filled for answered prayer.

this is mandy. she was one of my translators at camp.

during camp, we make life charts. they are used to allow us to share our stories with the campers and as a tool for the camper to share some of their stories with us, if they choose.

while mandy was sharing her life chart with our family, she shared about some american students she met at university during the 2007-20008 school year. they shared their faith with her. she rejected it.

and then the earthquake happened.

mandy is from chengdu, sichuan.

her family's home was damaged and deemed unsafe for an extended amount of time. mandy and her family lived in a public park with only a bed sheet hanging from trees as a shelter. it rained a lot in the days that her family lived in the park. their possessions were destroyed...

but, god heard the cries of believers around the world. the cries that HE be glorified in the chaos. the cries that he would draw people to himself - amid the tragedy of so much death and destruction.

he reached down into a park in chengdu, sichuan and ignited the kindling that had so lovingly been placed by those american believers during the school year...

and mandy surrendered her life to the father!

as mandy shared her story, i sat across the table and wept.

i was praying for mandy back in may of 2008.

i was praying for her and god answered.

and because he is loving and filled with mercy, he brought us together for 5 days in zhengzhou, henan.

originally, i wasn't supposed to go to zhengzhou. i asked god to allow us to work at camp in xi'an... unless there was a reason i needed to be in zhengzhou.

originally, mandy had missed the deadline to apply to be a translator for camp. and she had to travel 24 hours by train to work camp that week.

but, god gives good gifts.

he brought a rescued daughter and a intercessor together.

mandy brought me a gift from chengdu. she didn't know me and certainly didn't know that i had prayed for her back in may of 2008.

but, god did.

she brought me a beautiful set of chopsticks - from a christian bookstore in chengdu.

they are engraved with the words: god is good.

he sure is!

thank filled for THE life preserver

here's a picture of my abigail at camp.

many of our kids had never been swimming before.

14 years old and never been in a pool.

abigail was terrified.

i just knew she would love the water if i could get her in.

i tried to assure her that the life vest would keep her safe (all the kids had to wear them, because not all of them were terrified!), but she didn't really know what a life vest was. i had to explain it. she had to experience it.

life in christ.

it's a big unknown swimming pool to those who have never been swimming.

i am thank filled today for THE life preserver that keeps me afloat in the unknowns.

i am thank filled that i can trust him.

by the end of the week, abigail was LOVING the swimming pool! she enjoyed splashing and playing with her friends.

i'm enjoying splashing in the water, too, so to speak. there is so much freedom to LIVE when we are protected by the life preserver. it may seem like he is confining and restrictive, but i have seen him as the life giver! i can splash and play in the deepest water and know that i am safe with him.

thank filled for structure :-)

i love me a good schedule!
i love a tidy calendar written in pencil.
i love {mostly} predictable.
i don't see a lot of predictable in our house - especially in the summer!
today, i am thank filled for the promise of another school year.  it really is about as structured as we get in our family anymore.  our year doesn't start off very consistent (anna is attending 1/2 day kindergarten for the first 9 weeks - in the afternoons! and abe doesn't start pre-school until september), but it's a start!  my days will be a little more quiet and i am very thank filled for that.

thank filled for medical access

thank filled today for:

- medical insurance that make "well child" visits affordable

- the ability to choose from a large pool of qualified doctors and clinics within miles of my home

- access to immunizations that are life saving (and if you question that, go visit a third world country where diseases that are eradicated in the US are killing thousands and millions...)

thank filled for all of this - even if my kids aren't (today).

thank filled for 6 years older

true story:
*they* almost didn't let me into china.
literally, almost didn't let me in.
the immigration officer looked at my passport - then at me - then at my passport - then at me.
and said "this not you".
um.
dilemma.
not really supposed to argue with an immigration officer.
but,
this is definitely me.
again, he looks.
passport.  me.  etc.
"this not you."
then he takes me to the supervisor.
shampoo.  rinse.  repeat.
twice.
with tears in my eyes, i looked at her and said
"it is 6 years old.  i have aged.  a lot.  i have adopted 4 children since then.  it's been a hard 6 years."
and
with that, she stamped my passport and sent me on my way.
today,
i am thank filled for being 6 years older.
i wish that didn't mean wrinkles, gray hairs and a few *ahem* extra pounds.
but,
i wouldn't trade these 6 years.
for anything.

thank filled MONDAY!

filled with thanks today for:
- ibuprofen pm and melatonin
- reliable internet
- swimming pools
- worship
- smiles
- hand me downs/consignment sales/good clothing deals
- confirmation from a god that loves me too much to make me wonder...

thank filled that he knows their names...

today, i am thank filled that jesus knows their names.

i know them as: mandy, christina, abigail, aaron and andrew.

of course, those are english names.

mandy is my sister in christ. she called out to him shortly after the earthquake that rocked her hometown of chungdu, sichuan in 2008. so if you prayed that the father would use that tragedy to draw people to him, you were praying for mandy!

christina is the daughter of a farming family and knows she is "lucky" to attend university. she works very hard, but can't see an end to her striving and working. she doesn't have the same peace as mandy.

abigail, aaron and andrew...

i'm sure you have guessed that i gave them their english names.

:-)

for a week, i was a mama for them.

i can hardly stop thinking about them; about how our 6 lives intersected for 5 days in zhengzhou, china.

about how it wasn't a coincidence.

i am thank filled today that their creator knows their names. he knows the purpose he has for their lives; for their pain.

i am thank filled that i can trust him, even when i do not understand...

thank filled dream come true!

a dream.

to take some people from our faith family half way around the world.

to see.

to feel.

to love this country and people that have become so precious to our family.

thank you, jesus, for dreams fulfilled...

thank filled...

thank filled for so many things today.
most thankful for jesus and the hope he brings.
also thankful for my little family.
and that they need me.
and that i am home from my dream trip.
and that i am going to bed.
:-)